Things have changed a lot during this year and I still strive to struggle to overcome my war and get back up. Things are in a position now were things are falling into place. It’s been a crazy struggle and the battle field has subsided substantially. Life is crazy and this has been a truly life changing journey I have been on. I have lost friends but gained new ones, realized who is there for me and who never was, and most importantly what matters most in this world. When you die you don’t carry anything from this lifetime on, I do want to leave something behind though. A legacy, a story, the knowledge that I left this world better then what it was when I came into it. It sounds crazy but Steve Jobs said the people that are crazy enough to think they can change the world usually do. This past year I have been through a lot and honestly I thought my warzone in my head would never bring peace or stop raining hell upon my life. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and I feel as if this statement is true. I can relate one hundred percent. Life is all about trials and tribulations and you really see how people perceive you when you have nothing to offer. Said reality is we are all like this in one way or another but I can say life has humbled me. Rebuilding and stepping into the unknown has been a huge challenge for me. I think a lot of people can relate to this as change is something we fear. Change brings new obstacles and challenges most of us have never encountered. Change is terrifying to me personally but it is something I must do to be able to accomplish what I envision. I want to change not only for myself but for the ones that stayed loyal until the end. The ones that showed me no matter how much betrayal hurts, the feeling of knowing people have your back and you have nothing to offer them is that much more rewarding. These individuals I secretly envy and they did nothing more than stand behind me through all of this. These individuals gave me the courage to continue to keep fighting and not give up. Twenty two combat veterans commit suicide per year and this statistic is a numbing feeling knowing how close I have been to the point of throwing in the towel. I pressed through it all, all the bullshit, the bullshit rumors started by the mouths of people that just can’t stand the perseverance I have. These individuals pushed me when I had no more fight and when I was ready to give up they motivated me to fight harder. I feel as if I have been through two combat zones and I survived both coming out of each a stronger person, wiser, and more confident then I have ever been. A wise man once told me I would be hated for the things I want to accomplish and the person I want to become and I didn’t understand it then but I realize today that not everyone around you wants change. Becoming a better person, a successful man, and a confident leader doesn’t come with applause and support. It’s quite the opposite. They will do anything to tear you down and it will come at every angle you can ever imagine. On this journey I have been on I look to my left and right at the carcasses of the people that didn’t make it. The snakes doing what they do best and the people that say they want to come with you but really are only there to sabotage things. You learn to see it better and this is something I have had to learn. I guess inside I’m not like them and I don’t try to rip apart other people to make me feel better. It’s sad really when I think about it and maybe that’s why some hate me. I’ll never be like those people that hurt me; I’ll always have the satisfaction of knowing I did what was right and never betrayed anyone including my enemies. It’s an amazing feeling that all that is behind me I finally have the peace I so desperately wanted and the help I deserve. I deserve this and it has felt great looking forward to the doors that God has opened for me. I still have a long way to go and I am no were near the man I want to become but I am on the right path to getting there. Change isn’t easy I have learned and on the road to your dreams you’ll lose many friends and gain a lot of people that don’t want to see you succeed. Through all of this though I never lost one thing and that is my determination and heart. I will never loose these two things. I want this more than ever and I have so much gratitude for the people that stuck with me though this warzone in my head. The soldiers I had beside me helping me get through the fight and the people I look up to that have shown me what being a leader is all about. Albert Einstein said in order to change things we must first change the way we think. I know this statement is true as my perception of the world has changed drastically then it once was. Some say I am crazy, others think I am a genius, others think I have what it takes to become a great leader one day, and some that think I’ll never make it. Maybe it’s a combination of all of the opinions that make me who I am and the motivation to keep moving forward. No matter how many times you fail at whatever you are trying to accomplish you have to get back up dust yourself off and get back into the ring. The greatest basketball player said in order to have success you have to have failure. I think a lot of us can relate to failure. The question is how many people get back up and continue on. What is inside the people that think that failure is not an option no matter how many times you get knocked down in life? How much embarrassment and humility do you have to subject yourself to, to get to the place you want to be at. Not many in my opinion only the greatest of people get back up and fight. Through all of this it has been a crazy adventure and a huge chapter of my life is about to begin. I’m in treatment for PTSD and it isn’t easy but I know that if I can overcome what I have no matter what I face I will overcome and win. Being a Soldier is in my blood, my DNA, and it defines me as to who I am. I am happy to say that the next chapter has opened for me and I’ll still continue to write and track my progress. Change and overcoming anything is easy all you have to do is be able to accept a lot of adversity and never quit no matter what you’re against.