People go through life seeming less unable to comprehend the things that are happening in this world, the nightmare the very few dare to be a part of, and the direction our world is moving towards. It’s mind blowing to me to see people so peaceful and carefree in their daily lives. I guess I don’t expect them to comprehend but what are sickening are the sacrifices we made under the assumption of defending this country. I turn on the television and I am almost reluctant to see what is going on. It makes me angry to have to accept the fact the fighting and pain we endured voluntarily were in vain. Nothing has changed and all I see is more violence and war. Why does the leaders of this country not take into consideration the fact so many of us are not here anymore and even more so the millions of families that have been turned upside down due to the fact that we were brave to push forward in a time of war. The people of this country almost have no disregard as to the struggles that we have had to overcome just to sustain coming back home. I almost don’t even feel proud anymore as that wore off long ago. I’m here and I listen to the countless number of stories others have and the impact it has made on their normal life. We laugh and joke about our indifferences and the struggles we deal with but deep down we are only downplaying the situation at hand. We gave something up to defend something we believed in and knowing the sacrifices of our sanity and countless other changes in the face of what we thought was the right thing is a very tough pill to swallow. It only plays into the mayhem of our daily lives and knowing that it was for nothing pushes us deeper into the black hole that drains our daily lives now. No amount of therapy will ever make the wound that is open inside myself close only for the fact of how our society and leaders have shown how much we mean to them. People are grateful and some thank for the things we done but actions are louder than words. I’m not insinuating we deserve special treatment but what I do expect is our sacrifices are respected and the society that singles us out as outcasts doesn’t show so much deprecation that I see today. Its hard going through all of this and especially when others can’t comprehend what you’re going through unless you have lived it firsthand. Everything was for nothing I have come to the conclusion of, and I can’t even put into words of how that feels inside. You’re not the one that is affected as well as your loved ones have made sacrifices and I don’t even think they realize what those sacrifices entail. How are we supposed to move past this at this point in time and what are supposed to do now to move forward with our lives. Me personally I don’t think I can move forward from this and the amount of disgust I have towards certain things only drives me deeper into insanity within my mind. I don’t see how someone can turn their backs on the people that were willing to die to protect their way of life. We have gone through hell and back just to come back into a new hell once home. People contradict my mindset all the time with telling me they do care and appreciate what I did but I see it another way. If people cared as much as they say then twenty two veterans a day would be spared, homeless veterans would be something but of a bad dream, and the fight for which we now face wouldn’t be so hard to stand against. I think back when I was young if I would change my decision giving the things I have now gone through. My answer is not even a question to me I would leave today to get back into the fight and that’s insane but it’s what anyone of us would do for the most part. How can these individuals with this mindset are treated the way they have been for so long. Who will fight the next generations battles as I don’t see myself letting my sons of the future go through what I did and let our Country treat them as the way my generations veterans are being treated. It used to be admirable to have served your country and I wonder all the time were us as a society have lost that respect for the ones willing to give everything for what they love. I think of the Vietnam veterans and the disrespect they had to endure and that only makes ours look like a walk in the park. I don’t understand it, it’s a catch twenty two it seems as we are deemed hero’s for actions most of us can’t even bear to relive but in contrary we are the ones that don’t fit into society anymore. I remember during a job interview I had a couple years ago and the general manager questioned of my military service. I felt proud to admit that I have done something so self-less and the response I get was “you don’t have that PTSD do you, we can’t have anyone freaking out and hurting customers and staff” I finished the interview the best I could and I remember leaving their with feelings of shame and guilt. Needless to say I didn’t get a call back and I assumed I was recognized as the crazy veterans that society can’t understand. I wanted to tell that man that I would protect my staff and customers with my life as that is what I am trained for. I am not a mercifulness killer even though that is how we are perceived now through society’s eyes. I only hope things change and one day and all of the pain and struggles we have gone through will be justified……. One day maybe but today it is but a fantasy
I realize the sacrifice u have made. I sincerely appreciate all that u have done to protect me and my family and our freedom. THANK YOU
Reply
Jo
10/30/2014 08:34:04 am
Many of those who have served understand exactly how you feel brother. The times of appreciation for the freedoms that were fought and died for seem to be an easy of the past. However, our brothers and sisters did not get injured (whether physical or mental) or die in vain. Our great country and her future freedoms rests on the sacrifices made by men and women that stood for freedom and diligently sacrificed all they knew and the freedoms that they fought for. While you may not see these freedoms appreciated, the satisfaction and pride comes in knowing my children are able to gain an education, have opinions, and have a future. It can be seen in the churches, hospitals, businesses, and educational institutions that are able to continue because someone stood up to allow those freedoms to be a reality. To me, my brothers did not die or get injured in vain, as the desire to heal and advocate for them has become my mission in life now. However, for you, your mission has changed; you just have to find out what that mission is. Then, when you have found that, use it to reach out and touch others. That in itself, is a freedom and a freeing experience.
Reply
Leave a Reply.
Joshua Cole Youngner
This is my thoughts my journey through life and my story.